What started it all...{part 6} "Home again, Home again"

{I copied and pasted these entries from our family blog way back when I originally posted them!}

We're home! We finally walked through the door around 5pm yesterday evening (Tuesday). Gavin and I had a nice long, snuggly nap in our own bed this morning and it was SO NICE. :D

The kids were so excited to see Gavin again...all through dinner they kept saying "I'm so happy Gavin is home!" "I'm so happy all of our family is here!" "Mommy, I'm so happy you''re home!"

Joenick had stayed home from school yesterday because he has a fever (wonderful, right?) so he hung out with Uncle Randy (Pa) next door. He told us later that during the day Joenick had been sleeping on the couch, then all of a sudden he was gone. Randy looked everywhere for him and finally walked over to our house and found Joenick sweeping the floor! He asked what he was doing and Joenick said "I'm getting the house ready for my Mommy and Gavin to come home!" He had washed all of Gavin's bottles out, too! I was seriously tearing up...he has such a tender heart, what a sweet little boy I have! :')

I still can't believe that whole ordeal was only one week...we really did go through hell and back (pardon my francais), because my own personal hell (and probably the same for most every mother) is to see my child in pain and not being able to do anything to stop it. Now I have more than just "sympathy" for parents who have children with ongoing illnesses. At this point in my life I can't imagine anything worse. (except maybe RSV...have you HEARD kids with that?! They sound like cats being skinned alive...there were 3 or 4 patients with that on every floor we stayed on ::shudders::)

I told Dre earlier this week that at least now we know we can get through anything together...house repossessed? lost job? locusts? Whatever, at least we're all alive! Nothing like a week in the hospital to remind you about the REAL important things in this life. I still haven't switched back to "normal life" mode...anytime I start worrying about anything "normal" I start feeling guilty, like "how can you worry about whether or not Evienne has a birthday party/if the house is clean/if the bills are paid/etcetcetc...when Gavin is home." I'm almost afraid to start letting those things take over my thoughts again, lest I forget everything I just learned this week.

I NEVER want to forget these feelings. I never want to be so consumed with the "niceties" that I don't leave time for the "necesseties". Because I have to be honest...when all this happened I had NOT been saying my prayers, reading/studying the scriptures, etc regularly.

Dre and I started out our marriage doing those things (when we still had that newlywed ambition)...we'd study the scriptures together for over an hour every single night, take turns praying before we went to bed, go to the Temple every month...and I pretty much thought we were the most awesomest couple out there...and then eventually life crept back in and we only did it when one of had a particularly good lesson in church or started to feel guilty or needed something, or whatever, but it only lasted a few days.

Well, let me tell you, it is pretty much terrifying when all you have left to rely on is your faith and its about as rusty as an old nail. Talk about feeling like a beggar at the door! I NEVER want to feel like that again. NEVER. If I have learned one thing through this, its that nothing is guaranteed in this life except the comfort and love from our Heavenly Father (no matter what happens) but when you're too busy feeling guilty its hard to let yourself be comforted.

Dre and I decided that we are going to go to the Temple together, once a month, if it absolutely kills us...even if its just for 5 inititories...but we must be there! So feel free to ask us how that is going whenever you want! :) (and does anyone want to trade babysitting??)

I'm still worried about Gavin's soon-to-be diagnosis...the preliminary biopsy results are still pointing to alpha 1 antitripsyn deficiency, and the more I read about it, the more worried I get. (I know, I know...back away from the google!)

But at the very least I will make sure I am spiritually ready to handle everything else that may be coming our way.

Oh, I forgot about something else that is guaranteed...help and love from our amazing family and friends!!! I feel so blessed to have so many people who truly care for us. Thank you so much for your service, phone calls, meals, and prayers. I am so thankful for all the relationships I've gained (and the ones I've strengthened) in the last year. I love you all!!!

{ read part 7 }